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Thursday, September 29, 2005

Piss and Moan

I realized yesterday that I have done an overabundance of complaining about my single situation. Well here is my resolution.

No longer will I piss and moan about my single state! I will be content!

In all seriousness, I hate whiners and that's what I've been this past month. So things didn't work out like I wanted. I got rejected. Yes, it sucks, and yes, boys can be retarded, and yes they can make you want to tear your hair out, but I'm done complaining about it. I'm done! It is my prayer that God teaches me how to be content and focused on the ministry before me at Messiah.

Confession: I made a "deal" with God back in June, after I had a bit of a meltdown (it's recorded here) I said "OK God, I'll focus on youth ministry really whole-hearterdly until October and then you can give me a man. Silly. It's almost October and I haven't kept up my end of the bargain. "Focused" may be the last word to describe my work ethic. Why should God keep up his end of the bargain?

At the beginning of Junior year at Concordia, I really felt that God asked me to give up the idea of dating boys, of looking for a boyfriend (I sound like I'm on the prowl don't I) for a year. Well, I sort of did that... with the full expectation that God would drop mr. future husband in my lap August 28, 2003 (the day my no boy year was up). Silly.

I've learned, and am continuing to learn that I just need to trust. Lack of trust is a lack of faith one of my professors once told me and my unfaith in God's ability to work is astounding. "oh you of little faith" Do I not trust that God will work in my life? Why not? Hasn't he worked before? Hasn't he answered your prayers? Are you afraid of a no? Do you not trust that God's ways are higher than yours? That in his "no" he may bless more than in his "yes?" You of little faith, why don't you trust?

You out there in blog-land, hold me to my challenge to not piss and moan about my single state as of today September 29, 2005. This does not mean that I'm not going to take opportunities to change it, but I'm not going to complain or worry about it. God's got it. Remind me of that.

3 comments:

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Kristy Laughed said...

Hanni-
I'm proud of you. I know that God will provide for you when His timing is right, and He'll blow you away with His answer. God never answers with mediocracy, but with more than you could ask for! Plus, your youth are going to be completely blessed by you even more than they already are!

amy leochner said...

You are true to your namesake.......making deal with God.

Love You!

Your also currently single sister in the Lord,
Ames