Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Children's Message Bloopers Part Two

So, Kristy said I forgot the funniest part (which I didn't know until AFTER I wrote the first blog).
According to Pastor Henschel, the balloon floated up to the ceiling during the Nicene Creed "He ascended into heaven":)

So, after church some of our ushers rush to get a ladder and a pole and I find longer string. During the second service, I'm ready for the message to go off without a hitch... but it's like these children had NEVER SEEN A BALLOON BEFORE. They were like "What's that? WHOA THATS HIGH!! PULL THE STRING!! A BALLOON! OOOH" And I wasn't sure if it was better to jump from the train wreckage that was my second children's message and join in the oohing and ahhing or try to salvage it. So, I tried to salvage it... but the kids were so fascinated by the balloon, I just should have jumped when I had the chance:)

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Children's Message Bloopers

Well, kids, it's another episode of Children's message bloopers!

Today I was responsible for the children's message and the scripture lesson is Jesus Ascension to Heaven. Well, my pastor thought of a cool idea of getting a balloon to illustrate how Jesus went up to heaven and how we couldn't reach it, and that Jesus was coming back. So I think this is a good idea. Well I'm running late this morning so I grab my balloon and sneak it up front during the first hymn and secure it to the children's message "props" table leg. About 20 seconds before I'm supposed to go do my children's message, my balloon worked itself free and floated up to the top of our 80 foot ceiling and end of the string that's tied to it that looked so long in the walmart store is still about 20 feet above my head. Great. Oh well!

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

The Business of Busy-ness, Brokenness and Being 24

Everyone's heard of the phrase, the bigger they are the harder they fall. The reason it's cliche is because there's truth in it.

I think the same is true when it comes to spiritual walk--the bigger the pride, the harder the break. I've been contemplating the major differences from internship year to this year and I can only say that last year, I had nothing to rely on but God. Internship was an intensly lonely, challenging time, but it is probably the closest I have ever been to God. I think the vulnerability of the situation and my spirit led to a mold-able heart and life. Internship was a continual period of renewal and brokenness, but I can honestly say I never felt deserted, lost, or separated.

This year, from about October to May, I've felt like I've been wandering like the proverbial Israelite in this desert of pride and self-reliance (maybe they are one in the same), though I've always felt like I've been running, forcing myself to not break, not move, not budge any step closer to God.

I do know that during these past almost 8 months, that my focus has slipped and God no longer was a priority. Having friends became a form of Idolatry and I stumbled along keeping the peace, trying not to agitate, to not cause drama, to be an adult, and I failed on my own.

It took one week of the complete loneliness of last year plus the reminder that I didn't have the same relationship that I did last year with God to completely and totally break me.

And I broke hard. I've cried more these past few months than I have since Sophomore year (the psycho floor and RA days from hell). It took Pastor, John and Mike telling me that they'd seen me lose all my joy in my work and my calling. It took 2 more months of running after that even, avoiding the break until all was gone until my attention was finally gotten.

And here I am. Back at square one, but at peace and content. I have no idea whats going to happen in the next few months, but I'm back to trusting God that He's got it covered. I'm also learning to "praise the God that gives and takes away".

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

I wanna be just like spode!

Me--Two Years ago--seven days into internship

Me-now--well in December when B was here.

Guess I've changed too!

Sunday, May 14, 2006

On being 6

I think that I am grieving just a little.

A lot of things have happened these past 48 hours in this weekend, youth led worship, (in which Zach Ming read the word eunuch "EEE-nuk" and where Hannah almost had a coronary trying to get everything together Sunday morning), finding a rental house (YAY!), waking up at 7:30 on Saturday, amongst other things.

I took a stand for myself. Without going into details, it was a messy situation and I made the decision with a lot of prayer and support and advice from people I know and trust.

I know it was the right thing to do, but it seems like in the real world, in grownup life, the right choices bring just as many consequences as do the wrong choices. In fact, RIGHT choices sometimes seem harder than the wrong choices. Why is that?

That's one thing I miss about being 6 years old. Touch the stove, burn your hand. Eat a cookie without mom's permission, get sent to your room. Lie, get spanked; steal some m & m's, get your hand chopped off (oh wait, that's Islam).

Now it's not so easy. Sometimes right gets confused with wrong or it seems like no matter what you do, someone gets hurt, someone else gets dragged into the mess, someone else will be upset. And so I'm grieving. Grieving because it's been an emotional weekend, and a trying weekend, where I've doubted and cried and just generally felt lonely and sad and tired and lost. Is this how this is supposed to feel?

If only I could be 6 again.

Monday, May 08, 2006

A Song for the Mood

Hey all... not much to post, just a song by Barlow Girl that's been really speaking to my heart recently.

"I Need You To Love Me"

Why, why are You still here with me
Didn't You see what I've done?
In my shame I want to run and hide myself
But it's here I see the truth I don't deserve You

But I need You to love me, and I
I won't keep my heart from You this time
And I'll stop this pretending that I can
Somehow deserve what I already have
I need You to love me

I, I have wasted so much time
Pushing You away from me
I just never saw how
You could cherish me
'Cause You're a God who has all things
And still You want me
Your love makes me forget what I have been
Your love makes me see who I really am
Your love makes me forget what I have been

But I need You to love me, and I
I won't keep my heart from You this time
And I'll stop this pretending that I can
Somehow deserve what I already have
I need You to love me

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

The Strange Life of Hannah Louise...

Those of you that know me know that weird things have a tendency to happen to me. Dumpster dropped on my car junior year, falling and breaking my nose on stage senior year, other random stories that Julianna says can only happen to me. Well here's another one.

So I'm at Barnes and Noble this evening after work to get the book I had ordered and to pick up a couple other books. Well, I'm at the information counter, asking where I might find Sarah Vowell books and I notice in my side-vision that two girls keep looking over at me and whispering. So, I shrug my shoulders and head to find my book (which I think is fiction).

So I'm perusing the V-fiction section and am having no luck and all of a sudden whisper girl comes over and says. "Hi I just wanted to tell you that your skirt... (my skirt? is tucked in back? ripped? what?".... is really really pretty." I say thanks and that I was really worried that there was something wrong. The girl continued to ask where I got it, and how long ago. She then asks if I need help looking for my book. I say sure... guessing she's just friendly. I realize the book is not to be found in the V-fiction section so I say something to this overly-friendly girl that I need to go check for my book. Well. I go find out from the help desk lady that the book is in Essays(or S's what I thought she said... even after she spelled it. grr to accents). The help desk lady, then seeing my look of uncomprehension takes me over to the ESSAYS and I find the book (assassination vacation-by recommendation) I'm looking for. I perusing to see if I can find Megan Daum's book of S'S (har har) as well and the skirt complimenter is back! She asks if I found the book I was looking for and I say yes... .

And she continues to talk... she asks about books and such. I notice that she's reading "I kissed dating goodbye" which I read eons ago, which led to Josh McDowell who led a discussion on the da vinci code, which we talked about a little, then she started asking more questions such as what I do, where I went to school, etc. I'm starting to think maybe this girl is just friendly by nature, or crazy when she finally says... "well I'll let you go, but I did want to ask you if you were interested in earning some extra money through a home based christian business...." she rambles on about the business for a while and how great it is before asking me if I was interested. I tell her no and she says thanks, and disappears. So I go check out with my $65.00 worth of books with the experience of being "solicited" in the bookstore.


Lots of other things going on, but I thought this was blog-worthy.