Sunday, May 14, 2006

On being 6

I think that I am grieving just a little.

A lot of things have happened these past 48 hours in this weekend, youth led worship, (in which Zach Ming read the word eunuch "EEE-nuk" and where Hannah almost had a coronary trying to get everything together Sunday morning), finding a rental house (YAY!), waking up at 7:30 on Saturday, amongst other things.

I took a stand for myself. Without going into details, it was a messy situation and I made the decision with a lot of prayer and support and advice from people I know and trust.

I know it was the right thing to do, but it seems like in the real world, in grownup life, the right choices bring just as many consequences as do the wrong choices. In fact, RIGHT choices sometimes seem harder than the wrong choices. Why is that?

That's one thing I miss about being 6 years old. Touch the stove, burn your hand. Eat a cookie without mom's permission, get sent to your room. Lie, get spanked; steal some m & m's, get your hand chopped off (oh wait, that's Islam).

Now it's not so easy. Sometimes right gets confused with wrong or it seems like no matter what you do, someone gets hurt, someone else gets dragged into the mess, someone else will be upset. And so I'm grieving. Grieving because it's been an emotional weekend, and a trying weekend, where I've doubted and cried and just generally felt lonely and sad and tired and lost. Is this how this is supposed to feel?

If only I could be 6 again.


josh Sullivan said...

hannah - sorry to hear about your experience, whatever it was. Good insight about making right choices and having just as many if not more consequences. Without knowning the situation, I can't and won't say anymore.

I hope you're doing alright. If you need anything, let me know. Praying for you and your ministry~ josh

Kristy Laughed said...

Hannie~ I'm proud of you for making a hard decision that I know you have tried very hard not to make. It does suck no longer being six and the consequences for our right decisions are praised and wrong decisions condemned. However, hold fast to that fact that God will provide in every situation and that even in a messy situation, God is there with you between the rock and the hard place. Know that I am still praying for you that God will show you the good that comes from making a hard decision for both parties. Sometimes it sucks being a grown-up, but on the other hand, you have the God given strength to make those decisions with prayer and guidance. I love you Hannie!

Susie said...

"Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort."

That's the only advice I can pass along, and if I have to tell you who said it, you're not the girl I thought you were.

Jamie said...

I was going to write something eloquent and profound but after reading Kristy's comment all I can say is "Amen Sista-Friend!"

I love you Hannah Louise and am very proud for stepping up and making a decision that was definitely NOT easy. Doing something that shows you care for yourself and love yourself is the best thing you could possibly do.

Lubke-Moss said...

If it's the situation I'm thinking of, GOOD FOR YOU! and It's about time. You are a much more loving and patient person than I. I would have lost it a long time ago. Best of luck to you and God's continued blessings reinforcing your, maybe difficult, but right decision. I concur, 6 seems really good somedays. :)