Sand Castles

The foolish man built his house upon the sand, his house upon the sand, his house upon the sand
The foolish man built his house upon the sand and the rains came tumbling down
The rains came down and the floods came up
The rains came down and the floods came up
The rains came down and the floods came up
And the house on the sand went SPLAT!

When I was little, this was one of my favorite Sunday school, Vacation Bible school, summer revival-y songs. I remember thinking to myself, "what kind of person would actually build their house on sand!?! Of course it will wash away!" I didn't quite realize that Jesus was using the story as a teachable moment. There were those building castles in the sand, thinking the house they'd built would stand even if the winds came down and the floods came up.

I realized, this weekend, down in Dallas, that I'd built myself a nice little sand castle in oklahoma city. I'd gotten nice and comfortable, moved in and set up house right on the beach and now the wind and the rains are bearing down full force and it is crumbling all around me. More water spills in than I can cup or catch or block...

And I am heartbroken. Not only heartbroken, but my spirit is broken too. I'm so tired of pushing wet sand into irreperable holes, of biding my time and knowing I can do nothing but watch it fall.

I am watching this fall apart all around me, so tired of fighting to keep people that I consider closer than my family close to me, talking to me, wanting to be friends with me, wanting to spend time me. It feels like inevitable divorce....

And I am heartbroken. Simply heartbroken that there is nothing I can do or say to change it.

Lesson learned? I'll let you know when the castle's crumbled and I've begun construction on a new house somewhere safely away from the coast.