Epiphany

Patience, Patience, Patience... That's my new mantra.

I know that I am not patient. I'm one of those obnoxious tap-my-foot-"arewethereyet?"-check-my-watch-and-sigh-impatiently- kind of people. I want things done NOW... why wait? So, recently, I prayed for patience about a particular matter, and am finding myself tested, however, at the same time, I'm learning about God's blessing and his providence (his providing) for me in all times and in all circumstances. It's not an easy lesson, and I'd like to learn it NOW PLEASE instead of slowly, but I know that is how patience is developed.

The epiphany I had that was mentioned in my good friend Jamie's blog (internshipinalaska.blogspot.com) is something that developed from my prayer for patience.

I've been obsessing about something for about a month and a half (my friends can attest that yes, I DO overanalyze), and when things weren't moving as quickly as I thought they should, or the way I wanted them to, I flipped out. Call it a control issue, a impatience issue, whatever. But I realized that I was holding on too tightly to this thing I wanted. God laid on my heart to give it up to him and let him bless it and work with it in His time whatever may come from that. Since then, yes I've thought about it, but it's not been the same "oh my gosh what am I going to do about this whole situation, I have to fix it?!" as it had been. Now it's "I don't know what's happening, but I know that it'll work out however God chooses to work it" and the peace that comes from letting God work and the knowledge that God is working is nice (for lack of a better word).

Since thanksgiving was last week, I'm going to count my blessings (and also I'm copying off of Jamie's blog)

1. My friends specifically Jamie, Jen, Julianna (with her wonderful man brain), Kristy, Jess and Haarman.
2. My family and the fact that they are all OK and healthy. I'm thankful that I was able to spend time with them
3. Messiah: all of them. every single member. this church has been wonderful to me and I missed it so much when I was home!
4. For my friends from illinois who still hang out with me when I'm there: yay for jenny page and sarah kistner!
5. For the good cooks in my family who feed me. :)


Well that's all for now, but since it's Christmas time I'll close with these song lyrics from White Christmas

"when you're worried and you can't sleep,
just count your blessings instead of sheep
and you'll go to sleep counting your blessings."