Vending Machine Theory

My dear friend Julianna Shults (dutch, not german) has this theory that a relationship is like one big vending machine, and I think it has a lot of value. Let's take a look at the rules of the vending machine that I'm learning and have learned.

1. Don't put in crumpled up dollar bills. When investing in a vending machine you want to make sure that your dollar bills are crisp. If you keep trying to shove that crumpled up wad it's going to get rejected. How does this relate to dating? Take time to straighten yourself out before looking for that special candy bar. If you're all crumpled and messed up, the boy that you attract will be too... or he'll just reject you. So use the corner of the vending machine to iron out that dollar bill. You'll be appreciated a lot more.

2. Don't pay $1.00 for something that costs $.65. If you want a 65 cent bag of skittles that's all you need to pay to get your bag of skittles. If you keep investing your money you lose it and the candy is gone pretty quick. Disclosure alert: don't invest so much into a new relationship that you are completely lost if it goes anywhere (how much is too much? you need to have physical boundaries and seriously, don't tell someone on your first date about your foot fungus). The boys will panic and run in the other direction. Skittles all over the floor... that's a mess.

3. Don't shake the vending machine. I know it's tempting to shake the vending machine to get some free goodies, but you could end up with lemon heads or worse beechnuts (you know that $.25 stuff at the bottom? There's a reason that it's there and it's cheap. All the good stuff is at the top) Don't try to stick your hand into the vending machine as you will surely need amputation to save your arm. Wait on God's timing. He'll make it clear to you when it's time to grab that piece of candy.

4. Don't settle for the bottom row of snacks. Why settle for beechnuts when you can go for the quality potato skins at the top? You deserve the best and don't think that 3 packs of beechnuts equals one bag of potato skins. Go for quality, not quantity. It may cost a little bit more money, but you won't get sick from candy that's been sitting around the vending machine for 11 years. Bottom line. You deserve someone who will treat you well. Don't settle.

5.Sometimes the vending machine won't give you candy, no matter how much change you put in. The vending machine won't always yield returns, whether it be a bag of lay's sour cream and onion chips that gets stuck on the wheel or the change that is eaten by the machine. In this case, leave the vending machine alone for a while. Maybe it's time for a fast from junk food. Chips can be unhealthy and make you bloated. Coincidentally so can the opposite sex. Maybe it's not the right time to be dating, which leads into tip #6.

6. Don't select something until you know what you want. There's nothing more annoying than someone going up to the vending machine and having no clue what they want to eat. They stand there and ponder and fret about the right decision. Am I hungry for salt or for sugar? Fruit snacks or chex mix? Am I hungry for chocolate or for jolly ranchers? If you know what you are craving you can hit the vending machine with confidence that you've made the right decision. Don't get into something until you know what you want and what you can bring to the relationship. If you don't know what you have to offer or what you're looking for you'll make a lot of bad decisions. Make your choice and move on.

7.Sometimes you make the wrong choice so don't continue to eat the candy. Sometimes it seems like you have made the perfect choice. You were hungry for animal crackers so you put in your 50 cents and open the bag and are about to sample the elephant when you realize what you really want are the animal crackers with sprinkles and frosting. Do you continue to munch on plain lions and tigers and bears (oh my!) simply because it's close to what you want? NO. If what you want are the frosted and sprinkled animal crackers go for those. Someone else may want the regular crackers. Just because someone is close to what you want doesn't mean he or she is. Regular animal crackers can never be frosted animal crackers, just like crem brulee can never be jello (name that movie!) It's best for both if you can set the bag down before you finish it and move on so there are less animals running around without heads for the next person. Chances are that what you're casually munching on is someone else's snack of preference and you want to leave it intact for them. They deserve it as much as you do. Seriously, how would you like it if your bag of goldfish crackers that you had wanted for so long was smashed into pieces?

8. Don't eat too fast or you'll get sick. So you've finally selected the perfect piece of candy. Don't scarf it down! Take time and enjoy that candy so that you can have a lasting relationship. Don't rush ceratin parts unless you know that the candy is ok with it. Make the choice with your partner to talk about your relationship and the speed you want it to go. If you go too fast you'll end up with heartburn and you'll just get burned. Be honest with the person you're seeing. Don't talk about marriage unless you're both ready. Set physical limits (only one m & m at a time folks!). To be honest, what's fast for some people is slow for others, but make sure you are both on the same page. But this I know for sure: if you devour the candy too quickly it sets you up for heartbreak especially if you haven't taken the time to examine the bag. There may be a sweepstakes you could win that you miss if you're devouring the candy too quickly.

9. Enjoy it! God has created us to share this life with someone else, so know that the right candy will come along so when it does, enjoy it!

Does anybody have $.50 I can borrow? :)

hannah-lysis: part 2

"it's ok.. she's a growing girl!" I got that every so often when I was little. I always took pride in the fact that I was growing. Just now I realized that not only applies to physical growth but to every aspect of my life.

Right now, God is growing me. I can feel it in my bones that God has been using this year to shape me into a more Godly woman. The more this year passes, the more I realize who I am as God's child, and it's comforting to know that God is my father no matter the circumstance.

By learning who I am as God's child, I've also been blessed with learning what I want and what I don't want. I am learning more and more of what I would expect from a future spouse by being able to look at my weaknesses and gifts and saying, "this is where my husband will balance me out." I also know what I will bring to a relationship: I am aware of my faults, yes, but also more aware of my strengths.

I'm learning that as this growing child of God I experience growing pains: things that hurt and stretch and test you in ways you never think possible. However, without the growing pains I could never experience pleasure in the ways I've grown. I would not appreciate the patience I prayed for without it being tested. I wouldn't be able to trust God's hand in all circumstances if there weren't times where I didn't see him working. I'm learning to trust God in the silence as much as I trust him in times where His path is clear for me. I wouldn't grasp the beauty of God's timing and his will for me if I hadn't had to wait for him to reveal it to me. I've learned that the love of God is a quieter and stronger kind of love than I realized and that love will continue to grow and evolve.


What can I say? I'm a growing girl!

hannah-lysis

Hehe.. Julianna calls my rationalizing hannahlysis... like analysis, and here are some of my latest:

1. ok to be honest, I have nothing. have a good day

I'm weird when it comes to boys

Thought for the day/week:

Most of the time, when it comes to guys, I don't know what the heck I'm doing. Maybe that's normal for most women to be awkward around guys, or maybe it's the fact that I've never had a real boyfriend.

I think maybe for me (a person who likes things to have order and structure, to have a CLEAR definition of what something is and what it is not) boys leave too much open for me to feel truly comfortable. Case in point: a couple weeks ago at LEA I ran into an old friend and I acted like myself--but there was no pressure--it was clearly defined that nothing was going to happen there so it was safe for me to be myself--I didn't really care what this guy thought.

When the stakes are higher though--when I'm interested in a guy or there's someone interested in me, I don't know how to handle the situation-- the real me goes into hiding and I become this shy, awkward creature that forgets how to converse. It's so frustrating, and it happens unintentionally--it's almost like I don't trust myself to be myself around anyone--especially a boy until I know exactly what's going on and how I want to handle it and even then, it's usually only after the moment fades that I feel like I can truly show my true self. It really annoys my friends... they tell me "just be yourself!" "don't be so shy! let them see the hannah we know" and I don't know how to tell them I can't... for some odd reason, no matter how hard I try, I can't, and if I force it, I come off as fake and shallow or worse snotty and mean. Great. that's exactly the impression I want to put forward.

This whole thing confuses me--I don't even know why I act this way, maybe it's a lack of trust, a lack of self-confidence, a fear of getting hurt or used--who knows.

Anyway, my main point is this: I don't know how to act around boys.


ps. check out www.peterstent.blogspot.com (it puts my musings to shame!)

(Im)Patiently Waiting

Well, it's good ole fashioned call day here at Messiah and I'm nervous and it's the longest 20 minutes of my life thus far. Oftentimes, people can express in better ways what i feel and believe... so here are my words, found in the type of other people


Patience: noun

Synonyms: patience, long-suffering, resignation, forbearance. These nouns denote the capacity to endure hardship, difficulty, or inconvenience without complaint. Patience emphasizes calmness, self-control, and the willingness or ability to tolerate delay: Our patience will achieve more than our force (Edmund Burke).
~from www.dictionary.com

God, there's a reason the Bible and the hymnals call you shepherd and us sheep. We get lost easily. We wander away without thinking. We follow the path with the greener grass, even if it takes us away from you. Sheep are born followers. What one does, they all do. We follow the ones with the loudest voices and we think we're on the path to happiness. YOU ARE THE SHEPHERD. You bring us back to the path even though we know it isn't the easiest way go. We get lost, and you will leave the flock and come and find us again and again. You know us better than anyone. We know that all we must do is listen for your voice and follow your call. Watch over us, God. Keep us on the path. Amen.
~From The Uncommon Book of Prayer by Steven L. Case

Developing Patience
Romans 5:1-5 (The Message)
By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us--set us right with him, make us fit for him--we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus. And that's not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand--out in the wide open spaces of God's grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise.
There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary--we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!