Thursday, May 05, 2005

hannah-lysis: part 2

"it's ok.. she's a growing girl!" I got that every so often when I was little. I always took pride in the fact that I was growing. Just now I realized that not only applies to physical growth but to every aspect of my life.

Right now, God is growing me. I can feel it in my bones that God has been using this year to shape me into a more Godly woman. The more this year passes, the more I realize who I am as God's child, and it's comforting to know that God is my father no matter the circumstance.

By learning who I am as God's child, I've also been blessed with learning what I want and what I don't want. I am learning more and more of what I would expect from a future spouse by being able to look at my weaknesses and gifts and saying, "this is where my husband will balance me out." I also know what I will bring to a relationship: I am aware of my faults, yes, but also more aware of my strengths.

I'm learning that as this growing child of God I experience growing pains: things that hurt and stretch and test you in ways you never think possible. However, without the growing pains I could never experience pleasure in the ways I've grown. I would not appreciate the patience I prayed for without it being tested. I wouldn't be able to trust God's hand in all circumstances if there weren't times where I didn't see him working. I'm learning to trust God in the silence as much as I trust him in times where His path is clear for me. I wouldn't grasp the beauty of God's timing and his will for me if I hadn't had to wait for him to reveal it to me. I've learned that the love of God is a quieter and stronger kind of love than I realized and that love will continue to grow and evolve.

What can I say? I'm a growing girl!