So, last week, I wondered what turned leadership qualities into true leadership.
I'm still pondering that question and don't know if I'm any closer to the answer. This weekend, though, I did have the privelege of attending CLYFR (Council of Lutheran Youth Fellowship Representatives) as the Oklahoma District Rep with two of my youth. Basically, it was intense leader training, equipping my youth and others from all around the nation how to plan and lead servant events (something the two of mine are going to do this summer on our way back from NYG).
It was a good weekend overall, but one thing that I keep thinking about is a comment that my youth made when contemplating whether or not to run for to be the regional representative for LYF.
"I just never realized that Obnoxious and Outgoing could be confused for leadership" to which I responded that she was a leader... that "obnoxious and outgoing" were signs of leadership...
So I've been thinking a lot about it these past few days, wondering what the best way is to help continue to build on these leadership skills my youth have. I have A LOT of youth with very strong leader tendencies that come in various shapes and sizes and I want to help them use and develop those to the best ability I can. I want to help them realize what God has given them. I want to help them identify those gifts they've been given and help them find a way to best use those gifts to help build and strengthen the body of Christ.
Part of my job is also to help them find their voice in the church because I think that for many years, the youth have been looked over, pushed to their own "corner" in the church as people say, "they're the church of tomorrow," not realizing that they are the church of today and they deserve a voice today.
I'm afraid that if we don't equip our youth to be strong leaders and then never empower them to be leaders in their churches, there won't be a church of tomorrow.
According the Spode, my chocolate milk rebellion of '91 was a sign that I have always been a leader. I'm not sure if that's necessarily true, but I have been thinking a lot recently about what it takes to turn leadership tendencies into true leadership.
As a DCE, I work with Youth most of the time. I'm in charge of keeping them safe, keeping them alive and helping them grow more mature in their faith walks. My leadership is just kind of assumed.
I wish it were that easy elsewhere. Being young, female, and a DCE in the LCMS is kind of "three strikes and you're out" kind of policy. Being a leader isn't inherited, it's earned.
Teresa, the fantastic church administrator, has been telling me recently, "If you don't let people know you're in charge, they won't think you are". I think that's true and why last year was such a struggle. I was in charge, but all that anyone heard was "we don't know what's happening... we're letting everyone down!" by another adult voice. My voice was drowned out.
I've had to learn how to re-voice my opinions, to come back and say "Things are fine. I do know what I'm doing. I'm a capable leader." Are people hearing me? I don't know. There are still a lot of things happening that make me think that I'm making headway, other things that make me think that I'll never be heard, but I suppose that's true of everyone?
So what turns leadership tendencies into true leadership? Experience and Patience I guess, both things I'm still acquiring...
And a backbone apparently... which mine has been getting tested quite frequently.
After some introspection and looking back over the past few years, I've realized something.
The Ides of March (or the times surrounding it) are not friendly to me. The things that were lurking in the background as "thought to have been dealt with" spring back into the forefront as "life-consuming, soul-crushing and to be dealt with ASAP" issues.
I could bore you with a laundry list of things that have happened in March that set Hannah into crisis management mode these past 3 years, but, there's no need for that. I should be prepared, but every year I'm suprised by the force that these new/old developments explode onto the scene. Every year, I enter March delusionally thinking that I'm just starting to get a handle on the new year, on my life, on things and BAM!! Back to the beginning. Anyone else have months like that?
It makes me sympathize with good ole Julius Caesar. Look what happened to him on the Ides. :)
Apparently I have staying power.
According to Kristylaughed, I'm the kind of person who sees things through.
Which is a blessing and a curse I suppose.
I want to be the kind of person that sees things through to the end. But how do you know when to cut your losses? How do you know when enough is enough? If the decision is all yours, how do you know what the right decision is? How do you know that it's an ok decision? How do you know that it's ok to just wash your hands of the problem? Or do you just stsick it out, hope for the best and to hades with the consequences?
There's been a lot going on recently that's made me really seriously consider my future and what it holds for me. I know that I need to make a decision and soon, but in the words of Sara Groves, "I'm caught between the promise and the things I know."
I've gotten comfortable.
I like certain things, I'm seeing growth and change.
And Yet.
There's the soul-breaking side. The straw that's close to breaking my back, the thing that makes me wonder about my perseverance, the thing that makes me turn on "Painting Pictures of Egypt" and hit the repeat button. The thing that makes me think that I should give up on seeing it through.
Either decision is heart-breaking.
Pray for me.
