Ponderings

Every once in a while, emotion catches me off guard.

Last night, at a going away party for a member, I was talking to middle school mom (and friend) about different things. Then we began talking about David and about Darren. I was suprised at how raw the wounds still were. I don't know if it was because Darren's wife was at service on Sunday and I almost asked her where he was before remembering, or seeing her sit in their normal pew without him that left me feeling particularly vulnerable. Emotion was so stark and so strong last night that I didn't recognize it at first until I heard the wobble in my voice and felt the tension in my posture.

At Jamie's wedding I was struck with the same surprising onslaught of emotion though in a completely different way. As I watched Jamie walk down the aisle to meet her now husband as he was fighting back tears, I began to think about how varied the circumstances were that brought them to this point. How the unthinkable brought amazing good. How good a man my friend Jamie was marrying and that it could have turned out so so differently. How God had lovingly cared for his children through the grief, the tears and the changes in their lives. How there was only one other time that in the many weddings I've attended and been in that I can say that love and joy and hope were palpable emotions expressed through tears.

It is because of that joy that I can look at this grief and see that God's hand is working.