Sunday, September 07, 2008

Down the Rabbit Hole

Since Friday Morning, since the phone call, I have been waiting for someone to call me and say that this is all a big joke; an episode of Punk'd.

As I have comforted people, cried with people, shared the news with people, I want to laugh at the absurdity of the whole thing. 38 year old men aren't supposed to die. Not ones that were healthy and took care of their families, cared for their children, volunteer at church and are so excited to simply hear what's going on in your life. As one of the high schoolers said today in Sunday school, "you always knew that he really cared about you." Absurd.

But I know the truth. I know that this is real, this grief is real. That there is a family hurting over the loss of a Dad, a wife mourning the loss of a husband, a small group missing their leader, all of us missing a friend.

The disbelief makes it seem like this is just another thing on my "to do" list, but I know that there are harder things coming. There will be a small group that needs a leader, a youth led worship without a drummer, 4 children without a father, birthdays and christmases and celebrations.

We are only beginning our journey down the rabbit hole.


alaina said...

Oh Hannah. Words escape me. Except that I'm praying for you and the family and your youth.

hannah said...

Thanks Alaina,

I know that your congregation is mourning the loss of a parent as well. The irony (and timeliness) of your source forum has been buzzing in my head all weekend long.