Friday, August 31, 2007

Comfortable or Potential?

So, I made a bet with Jamie J that I would post when she does. I also pestered Julianna into an update. I guess it's only fair that I follow through with my end of the bet and post.

School started a couple weeks ago and all of my regularly scheduled church programs have started or will be starting in the next week (this stuff is-6th grade confirmation class, sunday school, 3/4 grade religion, 5/6 grade religion, chapels, other high school stuff, middle school stuff, pre-planning for vbs, planning for our fall carnival, district stuff, source stuff, planning not to stress out stuff).

Now that I type it, that seems like an awful lot. Anyway, I'm excited for the structure that the school year brings. The J in me craves a regular schedule that summer doesn't often provide. I'm also excited that I have a year of internship and 2 years of experience under my belt here at Messiah.

I'm finally getting to see some of the fruits I've been praying for these past two long years. I feel confident in my abilities to carry out projects (if I can survive a gathering year, I can survive anything!), to see things through and to build lasting relationships with youth but also with adults and volunteers. It's a good place to be.

I also though, am praying about the next step. Maybe it's a natural occurrence. Several of my friends who took calls to their internship churches have taken their second calls to other places, others are getting interviews, others have left the church ministry to do other kinds of ministry.
When I was first considering a call to Messiah, I set a goal for myself of staying through that freshmen class's graduation and then I would start to consider my future either here or elsewhere. This year, those freshmen are seniors. So, May brings graduation and contemplation. Before we get there, though, September controls my immediate future. We'll see what happens.

Mainly, I'm torn between the potential and the comfortable. I love my youth and their parents. I like the opportunities that I've been given to explore some other areas (writing for thesource, chairing our district gathering, writing the district gathering drama two years ago, etc.). I like the DCEs and the district that I'm in, but I wonder how much would actually change. The question I ask myself is this: if I stay will 5 years find me with things exactly the same. Is that what I want?

I'm not sure I know the answers, but it's something I'm pondering and praying about amidst all the craziness that comes with the structure I've been missing since april.


Sarah said...

Well, clearly God is calling you to Colorado. :) But then again, I myself am wondering about being comfortable here, so don't listen to me, I'm not God. (But then you probably knew that) And, I didn't start Eat, Pray, Love until right after I blogged...I think. But I remember when I started it thinking, didn't I just say all this? I'm sure I'll probably talk to you as I read it...LOVED the namesake!

Jamie Lynn said...

The struggle between the comfortable (aka the known)and the potential (aka the unknown) is something we all battle. No matter how our lives are going at any point in time, we all consider the "what if"s of life.

While I'm not even really thinking about leaving here any time soon, that's always in the back of my mind... "What if another church offers me a call? Can I leave these kids? This place?" ... we all have those questions so you (& Sarah!) aren't alone.

Love you, kid!

BTW- there's LOTS of room for DCEs in Alaska!!