Monday, December 04, 2006

Season's Greetings!

Oklahoma experienced it's first "blizzard" of the season Thursday. During and after which I composed these Christmas cards. Enjoy!

Dear Oklahoma Department of Roads:
What is this mythical "snow plow" of which you speak? In 48 hours, I never saw one of these "snow plows". Thanks for allowing the snow/ice mix to melt/freeze/melt/freeze turning the roads into undriveable, impassable deathtraps. I loved driving in it.

Dear Drivers:
Thank you for continuously hitting the brakes at every possible opportunity when the roads were icy. I enjoyed the possibility of endangering you and myself and countless others while you were driving as if you wanted to kill us.

Dear Mall Shoppers (and the four tour busses that were at the mall):
Thank you for making the mall so crowded I felt as if I were cattle. That made my Saturday fantastic.

Dear Walmart and Target:
I am so glad I battled your parking lots to find out that you didn't have what I was looking for. Thank you for not clearing said lots so that I could experience frostbite in all of my toes from tramping through piles of snow and puddles of melted snow.